In the last 2 days, I have opened 2 emails which made me sit in front of my computer, alone, staring, crying. The first message was about a loved one who was struggling - near death. The second one last evening was about a loved one who had died. Both dear people to me. Both struggling with illnesses over the past number of years. Both live far from here.
Right away, I needed to call someone on the phone. And tears came easily then too.
I wonder: did they know how much I loved them? Appreciated them? I hope so, think so, but why couldn't I have one more chance?
And it also made me wonder about the medium and the message. About receiving sad news from my computer. Or finding out sad news on facebook about public figures who have died - trying to decipher messages like "RIP Jack" or "You were the best Steve" or "I'll never forget you Michael" - with the help of Google, I piece together the sad stories that make for public facebook mourning.
Ideally, I'd like my sad news to come face to face so that I can get a hug right away. If that's not possible, then the phone, just to cry and have someone listen to my tears. And then by email. There. That's my hierarchy of how I'd like to receive my sad news. Not a long or probably even worthwhile post, but it's all that's in me today. Some days are better than others.
Today I'm remembering.