heroes: Mother Teresa

After supper last evening, we talked about heroes. Who are your heroes? One who always comes to mind for me is Mother Teresa. I had the chance to meet her in 1995 while I was in India.

I enlarged the photo on the left so that it focuses on that wonderful face, and those strong, worn, gentle hands. I keep this photo in my kitchen to remind me of what's important in life. 

I admire Mother Teresa and her tireless efforts to work with, and bring the world's attention to, the poor. Many of the things she wrote are inspiring, and here are a few that resonate with me:

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."

"I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world."

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway."


These are all lovely quotes, but I'm reading "Come Be My Light" by Mother Teresa right now, and I almost like it better than these uplifting writings. It's her correspondence with others about her dark nights of the soul, her doubts, her lack of belief, her struggles and spiritual dryness. And it didn't seem like it was a blip here and there, but there were long years, even decades, of pain and darkness in her soul.

Who would have known that this sweet, smiling nun was struggling so? But it gives me courage and pause - her optimistic writings give me hope, but even more, these sad laments do too. Comfort that I'm not alone in my doubts.

dollar store faith trinkets

When I started this blog, I wondered whether to talk about my faith.

Because in some circles, following Jesus and calling myself the big "C" word is so not cool. I'm from the "quiet in the land" Mennonite clan, where we preach the gospel through our actions and if necessary, use words.

As I shopped for craft supplies the other day, I realized that Christianity isn't even dollar store cool anymore. Plastic nightlight Jesus has been replaced with fake stone garden Buddha. Sad skinny bleeding half-naked man on a plastic cross, nails in feet has been replaced with chubby jolly half-naked man, coins at his feet.

I'm not knocking Buddhism here - not at all. There are many profound things I've learned from this faith. And I see why Buddha is more appealing for garden decor than Jesus. I guess what I'm looking for is for it to be OK (even cool?) for people to talk about faith in general - even if it happens to be of the Christian variety.

There are some places where we're just not encouraged to talk about faith. Like at public schools. Or in government. Or when we meet our neighbours on the street. Or at a neighbourhood barbeque. Or at the dollar store selling faith trinkets. Or until we know people really, really, really well.

And I wonder why. These are the questions I love. I love to be a detective of faith, looking for little clues and snippets of God. I find that especially with new friendships it takes months, sometimes years, before questions of faith arise. But this is even true with some people that I've known for years. How do we broach these topics?

Sometimes the closest I get to a conversation about faith/spirituality is this:

You: I do yoga. I love it.
Me: Ya, me too. Very relaxing.

or this:

You: I find God in nature.
Me: Ya, me too.

Yoga and nature are great, and they're part of the whole spirituality package for me. But there's something about the human interaction element of spirituality that I find I need. I need people to push me on - a community to support me, nurture me, and question me. I need to see glimpses of God in others to inspire me. I need inspiring ideas and words to hold onto. I need others - in addition to my personal practices of yoga or prayer or meditation. I need to be part of something bigger than myself.

And so maybe these dollar store trinkets are a good thing. If I saw one in your garden, perhaps it would open up a conversation about faith. Perhaps they are little things for us to hold onto that remind us that we are spiritual beings.

If I could get up the courage, these are the questions I'd ask you:

• Where do you see God in your everyday life?
• Who are the people you talk to about faith?
• How can I remember you in my thoughts and prayers right now? What are your hurts, struggles, questions?
• How can we help each other down this road called life - to live with courage and meaning and depth and joy?

P.S. I do like to have conversations about other not-so-serious things too, like lilacs in the spring, flavours of ice cream, bubble tea mixtures, thrift store purchases, garage sale finds, and travel stories. So don't worry - I won't pester you with the heavy questions every time we meet.

God on a Venn diagram

My youngest daughter had a burning question on her mind last week: are God and Jesus really the same?

She had been told that they were. But here was her response:

"If they're the same, that means that God died when Jesus died. How could God die? If God died, did God come back to life again too? And why was Jesus talking to God when he was on the cross if they're both just the same? He couldn't do that if he was really God."

It's hard to me to know how to answer these questions because I don't really know what I believe sometimes. I'll admit it: I'm a doubter at heart. I don't like pat answers. It's easier for me to explain what I DON'T believe. But who wants to pass on unbelief?

But I LOVE questions as a way to dig deeper, and it makes me happy to see questioning minds in my kids.

This God/Jesus research project involved asking several key adults what they thought about the question of Jesus and God being the same.

She brought it up again at supper one evening. Then my older daughter recommended putting it all into a Venn diagram to figure out if, in fact, God and Jesus were the same. This is what they came up with:

If it's hard to see, here it is:

Jesus - human (person), died, 12 disciples, made Easter, son of  God
Both - special, people pray to them/bow down, calm storms, loving, talked about everywhere (famous), heal people
God - created the earth, things grow, separated the Red sea, first spirit on earth, sent a flood

This is what I love to see: searching, questioning, asking different people for their opinion/belief, and trying to piece their own interpretation together. This is faith forming/building to me.

sharing the faith

The other day, I looked out our front window, and this is what I saw:

you'll have to just imagine their animated faces :)

2 women, well-dressed with Bibles and pamphlets in hand, engaged in a spirited conversation with my neighbour. In a second, I knew they were Jehovah's Witness folk, and that they were trying to convince him (a Hindu) of something related to faith.

I've never been comfortable sharing my faith in such open (and uninvited?) ways. I took a year off after high school to spend time with a mission organization. I met a lot of great people, but the philosophy/mission was much different than my own. Evangelism was expected, and not just by our actions - using words to convince.

We were given several options of places where we could do the outreach portion of our time (for one month). I chose Morocco because we weren't allowed to do street evangelism there. We worked at an orphanage in Casablanca, and were told NOT to share our faith. I could gladly abide by these rules.

I'm not a marketer at the best of times, and selling my faith? I just can't seem to do it any other way than through my actions.

And door to door? Have you ever sold something door to door? Well, not me - not chocolate bars, magazine fundraisers, and certainly not my faith. And so I wonder: is my faith not strong enough? Do I not think there's a message worth sharing?

I heard this quote while studying at university, and it rang true for me. I still love it:

"Real religion does not give us final answers. It makes us ask better questions."  David Tracey, Catholic theologian

I do think that there is a message worth sharing, and I'm happy to try to put into words what I believe - when people ask.

And I'm happy to hear about others' faith - even (and sometimes especially!) if it is wildly different than my own. I love to engage in interfaith dialogue, and share faith in a kindergarten sense of the word - I give some to you, you give some to me. We share. Your faith influences, builds up, strengthens, and challenges, mine. And even changes me. And I hope to do the same for you.

a child's questions

great questions to God in here!

Eden (my 4 almost 5 year old wonder) has been asking LOTS of deep spiritual questions lately. Most to which I have no good answer. I was asked whether Zoe did the same thing, and I thought back to this car ride to my cousin's in Stratford for a little morning trip before school (afternoon kindergarten). She was 4 almost 5 at the time.

It was September 29, 2008. Eden slept in her carseat while Zoe fired the questions: rapid-fire, not much time for answers, but to make sure the questions were heard.

Here were the ones I could remember when I got home:

Are Adam and Eve still alive?
Where did they go when they left the Garden of Eden?
How did they get there?
Why did God make them leave?
Why did Jesus die two times?
Who killed Martin Luther King Jr.?
Why?
Why didn't that killer man want everyone to be equal?
How did he kill him?
What's a gun?
Are guns still around?
Where do people use them?
What's a war?
Why do people fight wars?
Are there still wars?
Where is a war happening now?
Can I have a snack?
How did Mother Teresa die?
Was Martin Luther King Jr. a slave?
Why does God let people have guns and slaves?
Are we almost there?
Why did Nana and Papa die?
When can we see them again?
What happened to their bodies?
Why do we put their bodies in the ground?
Can we write a letter to Martin Luther King Jr.'s sister?
When?
Where is Martin Luther King Jr.'s cemetery?
Why do I have to go to school today?

imagination and belief

So they say that faith can move mountains. But can it? My daughter Eden is doubtful.

She has a whole head and heart full of faith. She desperately wants to believe - in fairies, in Peter Pan, in pirates, in mermaids, in unicorns, in miracles Jesus performed, in resurrection.

One morning, Eden came downstairs and said, "I actually DO believe in Peter Pan."

Several nights earlier, this was our conversation:

Eden: (speaking through sobs) I believe in pirates. I believe in mermaids. I believe in fairies. I believe in the colour green. But I don't believe in Peter Pan.

Me: Why not? You told me that you saw Peter Pan at your window some nights.

Eden: (sobbing loudly) I lied.

When it was storming the other day, she opened the door and yelled "Calm down!" Then she got progressively softer until it was just a whisper: calm down. But then she slammed the door and said, "No fair! Jesus can calm the storms but I can't. How am I supposed to follow Jesus if I can't even do what he did?"

A tough question to answer.

The resurrection stories have captivated Eden lately: Lazarus, Jesus, Jairus' daughter. But after each story, she says, "No fair! Why can Jesus make people come back to life but we can't? Then we could have Daddy's grandma back and he wouldn't have to cry and be sad that she died."

I think that it takes a whole lot of imagination to really believe. And sometimes I have more imagination than others. I sure do want my kids to hold on to a good dose for as long as they can.

And watching a Prince get married this early morning? Well, we definitely all believed in fairy tales.