le fou ravi

My friend Mara, who lives in the Provence region of France, told me about the nativity set that she has at her home. It includes many characters typical of life in a traditional Provençal village, called "santons" - little saints. Each family's set may differ, but some of the santons include bakers carrying baguettes, a washerwoman, a spinstress, shepherds, women collecting lavender, wise men, the knife-sharpener, a blind man and his son, and the mayor. Rural and city folk, mighty and low, mingle together in the nativity display.

Three figures seem to be prominent in every Provençal creche: the drummer boy, the miller, and the fou ravi. This fou ravi is the crazy villager - the village idiot, in a fond and loving way - who has "seen the light." They remind me a bit of the humble shepherds. How were they chosen to receive the news of angels, and to visit this baby on the night of his birth? They were - and they returned, praising God for what they had experienced. They were in awe. Enraptured. Ravished fools.

I am intrigued by this character - arms raised in praise and joy of the unexpected miracle of God-with-us.

This is the character I want to be in this new year: le fou ravi. Not the village idiot, exactly, but someone who is enraptured, awe-stricken, ravished in bliss, dumbfounded and overjoyed at unexpected miracles.

I'm not one to raise my hands in joy, but maybe it's time to try something new. Because I think that our physical stance - the way we hold our bodies, the way we present to others - affects the way we think/act, and vice versa. So this will be my new stance, even if I just practice it in my bathroom at home.

More pictures of awe and enraptured joy:

at the butterfly conservatory
Photo credit: Shauna Leis

at the Mediterranean Sea, Cinque Terre, Italy

Advent week 4: LOVE

December 29th: What is your stance/approach to the coming year?

a voice in Ramah, Connecticut, and Kabul

I haven't been able to shake the news from this past Friday's shooting in a school in Connecticut. Perhaps it's because my youngest child is 6. Maybe it's because it's supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year." Perhaps it's because I'm human, and I know that in the deepest part of me that this is not the kind of world that God wishes for us.

There is a section of text from Matthew 2:16-18 that is not usually included in our Advent sermons or Christmas pageants. This was the first verse that came to me on Friday when I heard this news. Many years ago, when friends lost a baby, Derek preached an Advent sermon about this text. Some of what's below are ideas stolen from this sermon (thanks, Derek!). Here is the text:

"When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men. Then was fulfilled what was spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:

'A voice was heard in Ramah,
wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.'"

Derek and I saw a play in Boston many years ago based on medieval Mystery Plays. These were plays that were performed in the town squares in Europe during the middle ages to teach Bible stories. The version that we saw included several scenes of numbing violence and raw emotion. One particularly disturbing scene - I can still picture it today after seeing it 14 years ago - was a section of the Christmas story. After Joseph, Mary and Jesus exited the stage (on their way to Egypt in the story), several women entered the stage area, carrying and singing to little bundles in their arms. All of a sudden, soldiers rushed in, tearing the bundles from the mothers' arms and thrusting them with their spears, turning them inside out to reveal crimson red ribbons. The soldiers threw the bundles into heaps on the floor and walked away to leave the mothers, sobbing over the bloody mounds.

We were both in shock after the play. It was definitely NOT the "happily ever after" Christmas story that we're used to - with cute, fluffy lambs, shepherds who trip over their bath robes, and wise men wearing too-big crowns. We had many questions. Could deep agony and despair be part of the Christmas story? Could the birth of this "God-with-us" baby actually cause the suffering of other innocent children? How does God break into situations of pain?

When I talk to Shegofa about her experiences growing up under Taliban rule in Afghanistan, I am blown away. "How did you not cry every day?" I asked her. Their daily dose of violence and destruction numbed her to feeling sad, and she said that she just concentrated on her own family - hoping for safety, but sometimes fearing the worst when a bomb went off close to home. I'm sure that many voices can still be heard in Kabul and around Afghanistan, weeping for children who are no more.

Back to Jeremiah. After the section that's quoted in Matthew, Jeremiah turns hopeful in 31:13,

"Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for all your work shall be rewarded...
There is hope for your future."

So while many facebook posts that I've read lately question whether to pray, or why to pray, at times like these, or where God is, or whether God is, I choose to pray. Even if that means crying out in anger. I choose to believe that there is hope for our future.

December 19th: Not a question today, just a word: believe. 

my scrooge-like heart

December 13th: Take a moment to think about giving. To whom do you show generosity? How do you feel about gifting/giving? How do you receive gifts? Do you give without strings attached?

I've been thinking about this lately, and examining my Scrooge-like heart. There are definitely times that I give in order to have some kick-back. A good feeling, a spoken thank you, a note of thanks - some kind of recognition. I want my money or my time or my thoughtfulness to be appreciated, and for that person to show me that they appreciate it. Otherwise, I don't feel like being as generous to that person.

Sometimes there are people in my life who take more energy than what they give back to me. I have to prepare myself to be with them, and I feel a bit drained after being with them. (and don't worry - it's none of you who read this blog!)

So I am challenged to give. To give without expectations, but out of a full heart. To bless others because I've been blessed. And to stop there. Not hope for some kind of validation or appreciation. Because sometimes it's just not going to come. And sometimes I know I don't express appreciation when I should. So I want to make more of a point of sending thank you cards when it occurs to me - not just think "oh, I should send that person a thank you card" and then promptly forget about that idea.

It's made me think of The Christmas Carol. This story seems to speak to the problem of poverty in our world: that it's not a lack of resources, but a lack of generosity. I'm looking to expand my heart - to not keep score, to say thank you more often, and to cut those strings that are sometimes attached in my mind.

But also protect my heart. Sometimes it can be tempting to give until I'm depleted. Then I don't have that full heart anymore. I can only give out of my fullness.

In this season of giving, I want to keep this in the forefront of my mind: I have been blessed, so I will be a blessing. In the words of Tiny Tim:

"But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a giid time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, 'God bless it!'"

everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe

...help to make the season bright.

December 12th: What brightens this season for you? Do you have favourite decorations that bring back memories? What ornament would symbolize this year?

I thought about these questions after reading Shauna's comment in yesterday's post. She talked about how her tree decorations have meaning. And that she keeps a special book where she writes down the special ornament that is given or received each year. She also talked about how her mother gives an ornament to her grandchildren, along with some memories that she has of that child over the past year. She wrote, "Our tree is full of memories and stories."

I love this. I started thinking about what ornament I would give to my kids this year to symbolize this year. I decided on a little house to symbolize moving to a new home. That was a big event in our year.

I enjoy seeing other people's Christmas trees - because there are not two alike. Each one symbolizes that family in some way. I was at a friend's house on the weekend, and she told me the origins of some of her ornaments - some were from students of hers, and there was a beautiful nest with 2 birds that was a gift from her husband when they were dating. I thought this was so sweet - to remember this each year as she decorates and gazes at her tree.

Here are some ornaments over the years that bring back memories:

a wreath, made by my grandma (I love the shiny fabrics the most)

tin moon ornament Derek and I bought on a trip to Guatemala

mouse is a childhood ornament (loved those mice!),
and Pinocchio is from our family's time in Europe 2 years ago

from a visit to the Six Nations reserve

the Laotian nativity my husband and I bought 8 years ago, wondering if our children
would be messed up talking about the elephant in the manger and the baby in the hanging basket

a wallhanging my mom made - the candle is made from fabric from a wedding dress of mine
(the after-wedding party dress, not the white one)

The Christmas Orange

December 11th: An easy one. What is your favourite holiday story or or TV special or movie?

Movie: Sound of Music (not Christmas-y but shown on TV on Christmas day)

TV special: 1/2 hour How the Grinch Stole Christmas (I love the Whos and their optimism in hard times)

Story: The Christmas Orange by Don Gillmor

One of my favourite Christmas stories is the children's picture book The Christmas Orange by Canadian author Don Gillmor. Anton's birthday is on December 25th, and he has a mile-long list of things for Santa to bring him, and ends up just receiving one thing: an orange. I love this story because that's what my grandpa Horst used to get as a kid for Christmas - a big Christmas orange and a plateful of nuts and candies. Each of his 9 siblings got the same thing - set out on individual dinner plates for them on Christmas morning.

Anyway, this story reminds me of the simplicity of Christmases in days gone by, and also tells Anton the message that perhaps you don't always get what you WANT for Christmas, but what you NEED. Anton didn't need any more toys; he needed on perfect, round orange to remind him about what really matters. We've used this book in our family to talk about wants vs. needs and to dream about simple gifts that usually aren't on our lists, like a perfect Christmas orange.

Another Christmas orange story (author unknown):

Once there was a little girl who came to live in an orphanage in Denmark. As Christmas time grew near, all of the other children began telling the little girl about the beautiful Christmas tree that would appear in the huge downstairs hall on Christmas morning. After their usual, very plain breakfast, each child would be given their one and only Christmas gift; small, single orange.

Now the headmaster of the orphanage was very stern and he thought Christmas to be a bother. So on Christmas Eve, when he caught the little girl creeping down the stairs to catch a peek at the much-heard-of Christmas tree, he sharply declared that the little girl would not receive her Christmas orange because she had been so curious as to disobey the rules. The little girl ran back to her room, broken-hearted and crying at her terrible fate.

The next morning as the other children were going down to breakfast, the little girl stayed in her bed. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing the others receive their gift when there would be none for her. 

Later, as the children came back upstairs, the little girl was surprised to be handed a napkin. As she carefully opened it, there to her disbelief was an orange all peeled and sectioned. 

"How could this be?" she asked.

She discovered that each child had taken one section from their orange and given it to her so that she, too, would have a Christmas orange.

a Christmas wish come true - an orange that she could drink!

tidings of comfort and joy

Time to catch up after the weekend... questions for reflection for the last couple of days:

December 8: What brought you pain in the last year? 

December 9: Where did you find comfort during these painful times? If you could make a comfort bag for yourself, what would be in it?

In my comfort bag:

• rice bag that gets heated in the microwave and says "cherish" on it. I put it around my shoulders and feel very comforted.
• dark chocolate with sea salt
• photos of loved ones
• a letter from my grandma
• a scrapbook of encouraging cards/notes I've received over the years
• chai latte or other teas
• a journal

In Derek's comfort bag: 

• a big screen TV where he could watch professional sports
• chips and popcorn
• something written by Umberto Eco
• a Bible
• Madden football for xbox or Play Station
• coffee or ginger ale or ale of some sort
• Settlers or some other 3-hour long board game
• baked brie with crackers

[Derek's comfort bag would need to be much larger than mine.]

I'm remembering last year, when I gave my parents and siblings gifts of comfort and joy. Here are the contents if you need a last minute idea. They were a lot of fun to make and put together. Here's what they looked like:

December 10: Advent week 2 is about joy. What brings you joy? How can you continue these joyful experiences in the new year? How can you use your list to bring joy to others?

JOY: Bollywood dancing, live theatre, making crafts with my daughters, thoughtful friends, a surprise note or gift, when people share their time with me and don't make me feel like they have something better to do or that they have to rush on to something else, finding a bargain at the thrift store, collaborating, an hour to read fiction on the weekend, visiting my parent's farm where I grew up, when people cook for me (I love any meal I don't have to make myself...maybe except some hot pot meats I ate while in China like sheep brains and cow's throat)

artificial vs. the real deal

December 5th: What parts of you are artificial or fake? What parts are the real deal? (and I'm not talking body parts here, I'm talking characteristics) Who are you at your most real?

We had a debate, my husband and I, over what type of Christmas tree to purchase this year. Our small artificial tree, bought 11 years ago at the Stouffville MCC Care and Share Thrift Store for $5.00, had broken.  So we wondered: do we go artificial or real?

Here was the conversation, as I remember it:

Him: Christmas trees are on sale at Canadian Tire.

Me: You mean fake ones?

Him: Yes - for about $75, we can have a tree that would last us until we die.

Me: But I don't think I want one tree until I die. I was really looking forward to having a real tree this year. I love the smell, and they're just so much more, well, real.

Him: Why would you pay $75 to cut down a real tree that you're just going to throw out after Christmas? (he doesn't shop for real trees that often, so he's exaggerating prices to support his argument)

Me: It's more environmentally friendly. I've read statistics that show that. Plus it smells nice and it won't lay in a dump EVER.

Him: [silence]

Me: I've been wanting a real tree for so long, can't we just have one this year?

Him: We could buy a real one and a fake one - we have room in this house for more than one tree. (this sounds like a great compromise, right?)

Me: I think that one is enough.

One day passes. Then I happen upon a "tree farm" set up last Saturday at our local MCC Generations thrift store. More than a dozen trees are standing up outside the store, just waiting to be bought and decorated. They look beautiful. They are fake.

I wrestle inside myself for a few minutes, then decide. This $35 will go to relief and development work. We'll have a tree that has had some merry Christmases in other houses before ours. I like that. A tree with memories. Plus, it will last us until we die.

So we have a lovely fake tree in our family room now. And everyone is happy.

not-quite-decorated tree,
but features 2 felted reindeer heads
that daughters and I created

But back to the question of the day: I am most real when I am creating or connecting with people. When I am doing work that I believe in. When I'm using my voice - either through writing or speaking or collaborating with others. When I'm reading to and praying with my kids at bedtime. I'm most fake when I feel I have to prove myself to others.

Another random thought that connects if you're in my brain: on December 1, 1055 Rosa Parks was arrested and fined on December 5th for refusing to give up her seat on the bus to a white man, sparking the Montgomery bus boycott. She was the real deal.

hopes and fears of all the years

December 4th: What fears do you want to leave behind as you enter the new year?

Turning 40. I know it's silly. It's just a number, right? But I'm keenly feeling it - that my days in my 30s are numbered now. Any advice for how to usher in this milestone in positive ways is more than welcome.

treasured gifts

December 3rd: What gifts have you treasured this year?

This is an easy one: I got a home that feels like home. We lived in our previous house for more than 6 years, and it never felt like home. We've been here for less than 6 months, and I frequently find myself saying to myself, "I'm home." That is a good, good feeling and I feel blessed. I can now say, "Home is where the heart/h is." I'm settled, I'm home, and I feel it in a very deep part of me.

there's just something about old grates...

a peek at a corner

an apple bobbing party in the backyard

along with an adult-kid tug-of-war in the leaves

the hearth

hope

I like to spend December reflecting on the year that's almost done, and anticipating the year to come.  This Advent I want to have one question for each day of December to help me to do that. You're welcome to join in the reflecting fun!

Since the first week of Advent is about hope, that's where I'll start.

Dec. 1st: What has given you hope this year?

• hearing from family and friends who work in South Africa - about programs where people work with the most marginalized and inspire them to social action/transformation. I find that incredibly hopeful and inspirational.
• releasing 5 monarch butterflies this summer. Always with a hope and a prayer.
• reading "Do Hard Things" written by 2 youth, and seeing youth around me taking initiative and changing things. Having higher expectations of children and youth gives me hope.
• my children. Constantly a source of hope, they help me to see through new eyes.
• holding chickadees, and other experiences that connect us to the land and to creation. 

Advent calendar ideas

If you're like me, you woke up this morning shocked that it was the last day of November.

What does this mean, you ask? Advent calendars go up TOMORROW!

I always like to have an Advent calendar in December. I shy away from the chocolate-y ones, and have opted for one that I can put a little message in every day. We've indulged in Playmobil ones in the past, but I don't see a great need for more Advent playmobil sets here.

Here's a post I did last year with a variety of ideas for Advent calendars - made of paper, socks, fabric.

And this my idea for this year: a photo memory Advent calendar. This calendar made me think of printing off photos of Christmases past and putting one up every day. I'm going to try to post them in a shape like this as the month goes on. We'll see what it ends up looking like!

I think it will be fun to relive memories of Christmases past, as well as look ahead to our Christmas celebrations this year.

Off I go to print off photos! And it's even snowing. Perfect.

A little update (Dec. 2): my youngest was less than impressed with this photo Advent calendar idea, but I'm sticking with it. I think that by day 25 it will look wonderful and bring back lots of memories. She hauled out the calendar I made last year with one little instruction/idea on it every day. That made me a bit nervous, because experience has taught me that while it's fun to create calendars like that, it's hard to follow through. Like when it says make Christmas cookies on a day when you don't have any of the ingredients around. So, I proposed a reverse kind of Advent calendar for Eden this year. Every day, we will write something down AT THE END OF THE DAY that we did to prepare for Christmas. December 1st: bought a Christmas tree. Success! We'll see what we write at the end of today...

Another update (Dec. 26): I think this was my favourite Advent calendar ever. The girls really liked seeing photos of Christmases past. 

Here's the evidence:

Here's another Advent calendar idea I'd love to do with our Hallowe'en candy next year. Brilliant!

celebrating light

For the last several years, we've been celebrating the winter solstice as a family (because with a birthday and Christmas and New Year's, there aren't enough celebrations in December... :). Last year my brother hosted a solstice party with hearty French onion soup for supper, a bonfire outside, and snow angels and fun in the snow. We're looking forward to another party at my brother's on Friday evening and they're even calling for snow! (fingers crossed)

This year's solstice is officially today - December 22nd. Celebrating the shortest day of the year and the coming of the sun's light has been a meaningful experience for our family. We have paused to think about people for whom this IS a long night - people who are suffering or homeless, people going through hard times, people who have lost loved ones. We have lit candles, sung songs, eaten marshmallows around a fire, prayed, laughed, played, and watched festive movies in our new pjs.

Traditionally, the yuletide was a time to set aside animosities. In Norse tradition, enemies met under a bough of mistletoe to lay down their weapons and declare a truce. So many festivals of light (Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa) are celebrated around December 21st - people gather to celebrate while the sun is miraculously making its way closer to us in the northern hemisphere again - another reason for celebration.

I've heard of other ideas for celebrating the winter solstice:

* turn off the lights in the entire house and eat dinner by candlelight

* make beeswax candles

* give out new pajamas to get everyone through the longest night of the year

* have a bonfire, sing songs, eat roasted marshmallows

* make tin can luminaries

* sing songs about light, like "This little light of mine," "Siyahumba," "Walking in the light," "Children of the light"

* make sugar or gingerbread cookies cut into "light" shapes like candles and stars and suns

* wear glow-in-the-dark bracelets and necklaces from the dollar store

* use glow-in-the-dark fimo sculpting clay or glow-in-the-dark acrylic paint for crafts

* go carolling/wassailing

* offer some wassail (glorified mulled cider with optional brandy) to friends and neighbours

* say a yule prayer at the evening meal, in thanksgiving for all of the year's blessings and in mindfulness of those who have less

Below is our little home movie made in tribute to the turning of this season. The girls are singing the chorus to "Children of the light": We are children, children of the light, we are shining, in the darkness of the night, hope for this world, joy through all the land, touch the heart of everyone, take everybody's hand." The song that's played after that is "The Solstice Carole" written by the Wyrd Sisters, sung by saffie.

glimpses of God

Here's a glimpse from Michelle in Virginia:

Photo credit: Michelle Gyauch Dzema, Virginia, USA

Michelle writes:

This photo was taken this afternoon as i played with my children outside. it was cold and crisp and the sun shining on everything was glorious. i was struck by the wintering azalea plants in our front yard...how the late afternoon light painted them with a touch of red. i was struck by the beauty of this plant...long past its summer blossoms, yet still a thing of beauty. it caught my eye, it held my attention, it filled me with wonder. for me, this is a glimpse...

Beautiful - photo and reflection. Thank you, Michelle!

May all of you catch more glimpses as you celebrate this 4th week of Advent! 

glimpses of God

Something I love about this time of year is that the trees are so bare that you can see the nests. Squirrel nests, bird nests, wasp nests. Down every street, I spy on the trees seeing what secrets they're revealing.

Here's a beautiful glimpse of God:

Photo credit: Jeanette Seiling, Elora, Ontario

Jeanette writes: "Nests are a heart/soul image for me. At this Advent time, I reflect on how I can make a soft centre in my heart-nest where Christ can be born anew."

Wishing you a great 3rd week of Advent!