cherishing me

is the hardest thing to do sometimes. It's much easier to direct this word "cherish" at my family members, and at time in general. Cherish the moments. Cherish my children. Cherish my husband.

But I want to start the year with cherishing me. Which sounds really selfish to my ears, but oh well. This expression exactly fits what goes on at our house: when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So I know I have to cherish myself, look after myself, or I'm no good to anybody else. But I often forget.

a cherished Christmas gift: a friend made me this wheat bag with my word for 2012 sewn on.
Amazing, eh?

My birthday happened to come along this week, so I always get to kick-start the new year with New Year's goals and with reflecting on a new age. They go hand in hand.

So here are some ways I cherished me on my birthday:

* bought and ate a pain au chocolat. Mmmm. Memories of France.

how do I love thee...

* bought Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, a book I've wanted to read for over a year.
* read for 1/2 hour.
* made myself a chocolate hazelnut torte for my birthday. Ate some of it.
* bought 5 canoli to eat at supper. Ate one.
* saw my sister, niece, and a good friend.
* had 2 lovely hours to myself. Enjoyed.
* phoned my husband to ask him to buy me a chai latte.
* drank my chai latte as I watched my daughters swim and felt so proud.
* roasted a chicken, stuffed with orange slices, garlic, parsley, butter, and onions. Ate some.

* laughed a lot with my family during the meal.

* had Shegofa make henna designs all over my left hand.

* got a great romantic comedy ("Something Borrowed") from the library. Watched it and laughed.

So from this list, this is what "cherishing me" meant yesterday: eating mostly chocolate themed foods; buying and reading a book; having some solo time; having someone lavish my hand with henna; spending time with people I love; having some downtime to watch a movie.

How do you cherish you?

P.S. Here's my absolute favourite cake recipe. It's easy and light and delicious and chocolate.

Chocolate Hazelnut Torte

Place these ingredients in the blender:

4 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
Then add 1 cup hazelnuts and blend well.
Add 2 T flour and 2.5 tsp baking powder. Mix well.

Divide batter between two greased 8 inch round cake pans (about 350ml of batter in each pan). Bake at 350 F for 20 minutes.

While you're waiting, place these ingredients in the blender:

1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cocoa
2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp instant coffee
1.5 cups whipping cream
Blend until thickened. Cut each cake layer in half horizontally (it's a bit difficult - use a serrated knife - but it's well worth the effort when you have 4 layers of chocolatey goodness). Spread the cream mixture between each layer and ice the whole cake. (I've sometimes had to make a bit more cream icing to cover the entire cake).

Enjoy!

tools for 2012

I know that New Year's was over a week ago, but here I am still talking about it. I think it's the return to school today that has me dreaming about new routines and goals.

Over the weekend, we talked about some of our goals for 2012 as a family. Zoe wants to make more friends. Eden wants to help poor people and would like to do people's nails and do face-painting in order to raise money for them.

Eden had 4 main goals: help poor people, invite Nolan over, get to reading level C, and go in a play. She also wants to marry Nolan. I suggested that this goal might not be attainable in 2012, so she wrote "Big Goals" above that one.

And me? My word for this year is "cherish" - and I'd like to spend more time consciously doing this. More on that in another post. One of my goals is to finish projects, which I talked about in a previous post. Another hope is moving to a new house - both Derek and I feel ready for this (we don't always agree on everything, but on this - we seem to have come to an understanding). Not sure what that will look like yet, but perhaps this is the year. Yet another goal: publish. I'd like to publish something outside of the Mennonite world this year. That was one of my goals last year, and it led to me starting this blog and taking a job mid-year as a web writer for an adoption agency. So who knows where it will lead this year.

Do you get into this goal-setting, or do the January blues kick in for you? Here are a couple of fun tools that friends have passed on to me. Perhaps they will help you too to ring in the new year. Click away!

2012 Declutter and Organize Calendar (with Sundays off!) Brilliant and doable. I've got one printed off already.

Unravelling the Year Ahead 2012: Susannah Conway leads a wonderful e-course (I've taken 2 of them so far!) and has this free downloadable to help chart your path in 2012, including choosing a word for the year. The geeky part of me just loves little exercises like this.

Setting goals with kids: Three Stars for 2012. If you happen to have a child who wants to save the world, and another who wants to make a friend, perhaps working through goals for the year could be of use. It helped in our household, anyway.

If one of your goals is more quiet, read this New York Times article: The Joy of Quiet by Pico Iyer. It's a keeper.

Read this New Year's prayer of hope written by Carol Penner.

Have you heard of Women's Christmas? I hadn't until a friend told me about it yesterday. It's an Irish custom, called Nollaig Na mBan, and it's celebrated on the day of epiphany - January 6th. The whole point of this day was for the weary women, who carried the weight of the household chores and responsibilities, to have a day off after the hustle and bustle of the holidays. The men would tend the hearth while the women retreated/partied.

If you're interested in learning more, Jan Richardson has developed Journey of a Traveling Heart: A Retreat for Women's Christmas. Here's the great part: you don't have to do it on January 6th! You can make time for this when it suits - and do it solo or in a group of women. Jan has some great questions - about journeying through this year and the unique gifts we can offer. She includes her poetry and artwork in it too - it's a treat to look through it. I'll be printing this one off soon too. And maybe next year I'll host a Women's Christmas.

One last thing: a beautiful song written by Bobby McFerrin to listen to as you take a quiet moment (although I guess technically music doesn't equal quiet). It's called "Psalm 23" and it is dedicated to his mother.

Wishing you strength for the journey...

holiday memories

It's been such a wonderful holiday time. I was looking over our photos from the past few weeks, and thought I'd share a few highlights.

chocolate fondue and Sound of Music on Christmas Eve

Eden got her wish: an orange she could drink out of

playing a new game on Christmas morning (while Mommy read a book in bed)

someone wants to join the party

knotting Shegofa's first quilt

a beautiful snowy night

when a snowman appeared on our lawn

What were your holiday highlights?

laughing at the future

Usually around this time of year, I reflect back on all that has happened to me in the past year - births, deaths, surprises along the way, pain, tears, laughter, and growth.

And it makes me squint a little as I try to make out the future for this year. I wonder: what's coming? If I were a character in Lord of the Rings, let's just say, and I was crossing a difficult mountain path and an evil sorcerer had cast a spell that whipped up one heck of a winter storm - I'd be very much squinting, holding my hands over my eyes even, trying to see the path in front of me, trying to figure out whether to press on - risk slipping off the cursed mountain - or attempt something equally as frightening - make my way through the underground mines.

OK. That was a bit dramatic. But do you know what I mean? I kind of welcome, but mostly am a little scared of, the future. Because what if something comes along that I wasn't prepared for? ('Cause that's life, right?) And what if? That's the biggest question: WHAT IF.

I was reminded of this verse in Proverbs 31:25 about a "capable wife",

"Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come."

Laughing at the future. That's what I want to do this year. Maybe it will even be a maniacal laugh. Sorry - I just saw The Muppets in the theatre yesterday (which was hilarious and fabulous and I laughed A LOT!). OK - perhaps not maniacal laughter, but a laugh that knows that things will be OK - whatever comes. That strength will come too.

I used to laugh a lot - especially in high school and university years - but I've serious-ed up a lot. And I'd like to get that laugh back. Because I think it's a better approach to the day, let alone the year. To laugh at the future. Even the unknown.

finishing

At the beginning of a new year, I'm thinking about finishing.

I've been puttering away at de-cluttering for the last while, and coming across some buried projects that were started and never finished. Quilt patches from a project I started oh, about 18 years ago. A Christmas table runner that I started maybe 11 years ago - just needs a bit of quilting and a binding. So close, but yet so far. A great recycled jean project that I saw in a magazine - a mat - that's ALMOST done. It just needs a binding. A couple of quilt tops that are waiting to be quilted or knotted. A hooking project that's 3/4 done that I started in France 2 years ago. Some good intentioned gifts for family members that never quite got done or mailed off. And a nice pile of mending that's been migrating all over my bedroom for many months.

What is my problem with finishing? So strange. I guess it's because there's just something so FINAL about it. This sometimes happens to me when I'm reading a book too. I'll stall near the end. Or I'll have 4 books on the go, each one half-read.

I can relate to this quote:

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it. -- Greg Anderson

So yesterday on January 1st, I tackled that mending pile. I was determined to finish it. And I did! The whole pile - 12 articles - stitching up holes, attaching buttons - done in the time it took to watch a movie.

pile of mending - FINISHED!

What a great feeling!

And here's another idea I'm going to try for this new year. Every other Friday when both my daughters are in school will be FINISH UP FRIDAY. My sister and I will go to my mom's and work on finishing. Growing up, I'd often get my mom to finish my sewing projects. The plan is not to get her to do the work for me, but to have a time and a space dedicated to these lingering projects. I'm hoping that this unfinished project pile will be non-existent by the end of this year. And I hope I don't start too many other projects that end up sitting for years, just waiting. Wishful thinking? Well, isn't that what New Year's all about?

my top 5 things to do on New Year's Eve

One of my least favourite nights of the year is New Year's Eve. There's just so much pressure to do something fun and exciting and memorable. Who wants to answer the question, "How did YOU bring in the New Year?" with "by sleeping"? But that's what I feel like doing. Just lowering my expectations and having a low intensity evening.

I think that my favourite New Year's Eve was when I was in university and my cousin was home from Vancouver. We had been invited to a few parties, so we went around to all of them that evening, taking photos of ourselves looking bored at each one. It was a blast.

This year, we're looking forward to hanging out with some friends (who also have kids) and returning home around 10:00. So we still have 2 hours to cover before the big minute of exactly midnight. I've come up with some ideas to fill those 2 hours and bring in the new year.

1. sleep. Ah sleep, how do I love thee? There's no way I'd go back to my high school days of staying up all night and then sleeping all day on January 1st. That just sounds like a little taste of hell nowadays.

2. turn off the lights and have a candlelit bath. Read a book in bed.

3. get take-out sushi or dim sum. Have a (quiet) salsa dance in the living room.

4. make a list of 2012 things I'm thankful for.

5. throw out all my ratty towels and underwear.

How are you bringing in 2012?

glimpses of God (last one!)

Here's a photo I took on our first snowfall in December:

angels are everywhere

Wishing you a blessed Christmas with family and friends...

the purge before Christmas (and jam-jams!)

Today I went around my house, throwing out sugar. It feels like the day before Lent instead of the days before Christmas. I recall feeling this way every year around this time - even before the big day (25th) rolls around, I'm all sugared-out. I declared a free-for-all on the gingerbread house, just because I'm sick of looking at it every day. I can feel the cavities growing in my teeth by the minute. Visions of fruit and vegetables and plain old water are dancing in my head.

I was out looking for a candy cane - to fulfill my daughter's wish. Do you know how hard it was to find a plain old candy cane? I couldn't believe it. I finally found one - but not just one, a whole box of cherry flavoured ones. They'll have to do.

But there are many sweets I look forward to. And none of them have raisins or dried fruit of any kind or marishino cherries in them. That's just how picky I am.

My favourite cookie that my Grandma Horst used to make every year are Jam-Jams. I made these last night with my daughter. Just the smell and taste of the dough brings back memories - so much that I had tears in my eyes, missing my grandma. I love traditional foods like this that link us to people and the past. Here's a plate of goodies that represents our household right now: some jam-jams (from my Swiss Mennonite background), some pfeffernusse (from Derek's Russian Mennonite background), and some Afghan baklava (from Shegofa's Afghan background). There we are - right on a dinner plate. And our young daughters get to share them all.

I'm going to share my jam-jam recipe with you - I'm sure you have nothing else to do today except make some more Christmas cookies - you probably don't have enough sugar in the house right now either. I'm sharing it because I don't know how many years in a row I've had to call my mom for this recipe. I seem to misplace it after every Christmas. If I record it here, I'll know where it is for next year (hopefully).

Jam Jams

1/4 cup shortening
3/4 cup butter, at room temperature (or, if you dare, substitute that shortening and butter with a cup of lard)
1 cup brown sugar
6 T molasses
1 t vanilla
2 eggs
4 cups all-purpose flour
2 t baking soda
raspberry jam or apple butter

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
2. Blend butter, shortening, and sugars. Add molasses, vanilla and eggs and blend well.
3. Add flours sifted with baking soda and mix.
4. Roll out the dough and cut into shapes. (my favourite shape is the sun-type one) Use a thimble to make holes in half of the cookies (those will be the tops of the cookie sandwiches).
5. Bake on greased baking sheet for about 6 minutes. Keep an eye on them - they can overbake very easily!
6. While they're warm, sandwich them together with jam or apple butter. They are soft and keep well.

[adapted from Edna Staebler's Food that Really Schmecks]

What are your favourite treats this time of year? 


Do you have traditional foods that you look forward to?