I only go to the mall in cases of emergency. Like Christmas.
As I strolled through the mall the other day, I came up with some ways to make my experience more enjoyable. And I will pass them on to you:
1. Look for couples who are 75 or older and are strolling along, holding hands. It will warm your heart.
2. Look for naked mannequins. They're there. It will make you smile. I saw one on the floor of The Bay, totally in pieces, sprawled everywhere. Did you know that the first fashion mannequins were made of papier mache in the mid-19th century in France? Little fun fact.
3. Sing along to a Christmas tune that's blaring.
4. Walk really slowly through the mall, like a Buddhist monk, just for kicks.
5. Tell a cashier that she has a beautiful smile and watch her light up.
6. Tell yourself: I have all the time in the world.
7. If you absolutely must take a child with you to the mall (this only occurs in emergency emergency situations at our house), then teach them these French words: j'aime ça. It means: I like/love that. Then they can point to their hearts' content. It sounds so much nicer than "can I have this? I want that. Mommy, please can I have that? Why not? I won't ask for anything else!"
8. Thank your lucky stars you're not with a toddler screaming in the Santa line.